An affirmation practice and update.
Everyday I look in a mirror and say
“I am important.”
This is a hard exercise for me but it has brought to light some startling thought patterns.
When I was a child I was ready to die. In my daydreams I would bravely sacrifice myself to save my sister or my dog or just about anyone.
This has followed me into adulthood. I sacrifice myself for my kids, my friends, even for people I barely know. I’ve given away my knowledge, my time, and my energy anytime someone has asked me for help.
I’d love to say I’m going to stop this sacrificing cold turkey but it’s a process. Being an over-helper is a habit I have to break. I need boundaries. And I need to continue to tell myself in every reflective surface I see… I. Am. IMPORTANT
Update: 12.2.2022
Wow. So much has changed since I started this practice three years ago. I no longer count myself last. At this point I need to be convinced to help instead of throwing myself into the fray every chance I get. I've learned to count myself as one of the people in the room {If you are in a room with three friends, do you say there are only three people there or do you say the four of us?}
I do not work for free (energetically or financially), pretty much ever. If a situation is not balanced, if the energy is off, I am out.
I no longer have to remind myself that I am important in every reflective surface because I KNOW I AM. I matter as much as anyone else I love, that's right, I love me. I love being by myself and I love being surrounded by the awesome friends I have made along the way.
Sometimes you just have to begin. Write what you need on a post it note and put it where you see it everyday. It's a subtle practice but that does not diminish its power.
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